Open Your Eyes
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: This was the moment he had a choice to make. He could either disobey a direct order or follow it and possibly kill the one person in the world he gave a shit about and who for a brief shining moment had felt the same for him. The gun in his hand is either the key to keeping her safe or his own undoing. He looks into her silver/grey eyes and knows there was no choice. Eric/OC M AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A little about this story. It was a dream and migraine induced one that just poured out of me. It will be a short one but thought it was a neat little story and wanted to share. I hope everyone enjoys and I will have another chapter out in a bit. I am not sure this will go beyond more than a few chapters but if I get requests or feedback for it too I wouldn't mind doing so!**

 **Chapter 1**

This was it, this was the moment he had dreaded for almost two months now. Ever since he realized how he felt about her. Now he had so many more reasons to dread it. At first he just dreaded he would see himself there. It happens more than he really cares for and more than he would ever admit that it gets to him. To know he is in the peoples he is trying to mold into strong soldier's worst fucking fears. He would never say that shit out loud but it is always fucking there. He is a nightmare, quite fucking literally, to the very people he would bleed for. People he would die for. Dauntless and this city are his fucking life and all anyone sees is a monster.

He has had to be hard, to become what he is because he knows what the is fuck out there. He knows what will happen if he doesn't do what he has been trained and tasked with doing. She saw that in him. The only fucking one and from the start that saw what he was trying to do for her and the other initiates. She stuck up for him and called out her fellow initiates when they called him sadistic. She had talked to him like he was a normal fucking human being. Like a man.

They had become friends first, unbelievably. Sitting on the roof and talking, walking the compound together, doing nothing more than spending time together like friends would. She even got the balls one day and just plopped herself down in front of him at the dinner table. She didn't try and talk his ear off, she just sat with him and ate. That night when he got home he allowed the shit eating grin of happiness to come over his face. After that she sat with him all the time, breakfast, lunch or dinner. It wasn't everyday or every meal because she knew he wanted space too. He hadn't been able to just come out to tell her that he would take every meal with her if she wanted to. He took what she offered and was grateful for even that. She didn't give a fuck what was said about her being seen with him. Even though it was all just innocent.

He couldn't lie though. Yeah they had started out friends but he had always wanted her, from the moment he first saw her. He knew she wanted him too but they were both restraining themselves. It wasn't the time and something told them this. It still didn't stop him from falling for her and hard. He had meant to keep that resolve, to not try for anything until after initiation.

Then things had changed on so many levels. Jeanine had some fucking odd fascination with her but was insistent it wasn't because she suspected her of being divergent. This had filled him with relief to be honest. If she was divergent...he knew his duty. He knew what it could mean for his faction and city. That is why he was doing what he was doing, why he had done what he had done. She still wanted to know her movements, her health, if she was fucking happy and if not how could she be MADE happy. Eric was assigned to protect her and look out for her.

Not that he minded because it was another reason for him to be closer to her. Then the night of that fucking party had happened. It was still hazy as shit to him and he wasn't even sure at times if it had really happened. The next morning though she acted like none of it had ever happened and it had killed him.

So he lashed out in anger and started treating her exactly like she had once defended him against. He became almost unbearably cruel to her during training. Giving her punishments for the smallest of shit so that he could take up any free time she had. She practically lived in the training room, his office, the armory; all where he either had her doing training, cleaning, paperwork or weapons maintenance. He was just as sadistic to himself because he always made sure it was something he just had to be present for.

The sneer or coldness never left his face that entire time, the desire for her never left his body or the fucking hole in his heart from the loss of her and that friendship.

He hadn't been able to bring himself to try and take over her fear sims when they started. He had to be in the fucking room because of orders from Max and Jeanine. She was to be given a special serum for every sim. So he had just sat back, glowering at Four anytime he put his fucking hands on her. When he gently moved her hair or smiled at her. Four fucking smiling at her alone was enough to send him at the punching bags for hours after. Because she would smile back when she hadn't been able to do the same for him in months.

He knew he still fucking loved her. The woman he loved didn't remember the singular greatest night he had ever had. The woman he loved, in a week's time, was going to be made into a zombie and made to kill. He was going to be doing that to her. It was necessary to save the city and the faction, but he fucking hated it.

He hated himself and as he walked towards her sitting in the chair in the fear landscape room he was scared to see just how much she hated him too. This was the moment he dreaded for two months because he was sure he was going to turn up in her fear landscape as the nightmare he had become and the monster he had let himself be made into.

This was also the moment he had a choice to make. He could either disobey a direct order or follow it and possibly kill the one person in the world he gave a shit about and who for a brief shining moment had felt the same for him. He could give her the serum that Jeanine had practically beat into leadership that it was imperative she get or give her the normal one.

He was sure the special one would reveal she was divergent. Because she was. He knew this now, looking back on all of the signs and their conversations. She was also the most fucking Dauntless person he had ever known.

She holds his eyes as he comes closer. The collar of her uniform is starched to within an inch of its life and her gorgeous curly black hair is in this half up half down style. She has never looked more beautiful as she does at this moment. He doesn't see hate in her silver/blue eyes. What he does see is nearly his undoing and he knows what his decision is, what it was always going to be. Because in her eyes he sees hurt, longing, regret and love. There is no fucking mistaking that look and he wants to pull her to him right then and there but he can't. He already had the gun with the normal serum out. He had made the switch before he had told Max he would make sure it was done right. He knew even then he couldn't follow the order given.

"Ava." He almost breathed her name out.

She gives him a small sad smile. "Eric."

"Be brave Ava." He says as he lets the needle slip into her neck.

"I'll make you proud Eric." She mumbles as her eyes roll back before they close.

"You always do baby." He whispers before he walks to the monitors to take his place and watch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

" _You always do baby"_

Those words drift to her in the blackness but there is no mistaking who said them. Eric. She wonders how anything can penetrate her normal fog and haziness when she goes under. No one told her how much it would feel like she was on some kind of pain medication when she was in the fear sims and then for hours afterwards. She hated the feeling. She felt so dull and lifeless.

She never remembered her sims either and from what Four had said, that wasn't normal. He also wouldn't tell her what they were which was another thing that pissed her off. She knew he was doing it to protect her though. He said that if she couldn't remember then maybe that was for the best. She had stopped trying to argue with him after that first week of fear sims when they had dinner in his apartment. He knew something though and it was like he was waiting in anticipation and worry.

She can feel it about to start and she is already working to try and regulate her breathing.

The Pit is crowded, almost unbearably crowded. She can feel herself being pressed upon on all sides. She tries to scream that they need to get moving, to move out and move out now. She is screaming at the top of her lungs in the most commanding way she can. All around her are blank faces, the blank faces of her brothers and sisters and she can't get them to move.

They don't see it hanging above them all. The glass ceiling that she once thought so beautiful as it glinted in the light of the sun, it was just an illusion. It was never glass but thousands of weapons pointing straight down. Lethal weapons pointed at her faction that were all gathered like lambs to the slaughter. She could save them if she could just get them to fucking move.

"Move it! Can't you see the fucking guns! Move it now that is a fucking order!" She yells and starts shoving her way through.

She hears a voice that has always been able to set her blood to boil. "They can't hear you darling. You know this. Now come take your rightful place beside me."

She looks up to the balcony that just last night she had seen Eric looking down at her from. Looking at her with the hunger she felt in her heart for him still, even after all the walls and anger he had thrown up around him.

"Jeanine." She growled out, teeth gritted and fist clenched.

"Ava, how often must I remind you. It is Mother to you. Now please, come here. Your place is and has always has been beside me." Jeanine even now has that superior smile on her face.

"You are not my mother Jeanine. You killed the woman that held that honor."

Jeanine scoffed and deigned to come down from her dais. The sea of blank Dauntless parted for much like the Red Sea parted for Moses. She walked towards Ava with a look of false hurt.

"The woman thought she could take you away from me. She had to be taught a lesson, you are mine Ava and always be." Jeanine was now face to face with the young Dauntless woman. "Now, I am not above having to teach you a lesson either, Ava. I think you remember that well enough."

Ava scowls at her and is about to scoff at her because she knows her lessons and she knows they have no affect on Ava anymore. Before Ava can though she can hears the sounds of a scuffle and muffled whimpers.

Suddenly there are several Dauntless and Erudite that aren't blanks but they are dragging in three people with bags over their heads. Her heart starts to race because she already knows that her lesson will be taught with the blood of others.

"Jeanine…." She growls out shaking her head and eyes wide. Fists clenched and prepared to lash out at the bitch.

"Before you think about striking me Ava. Maybe you should see who you will be sacrificing." Jeanine purrs out, pleased with herself.

Ava's nostrils are flaring and she is coiled to strike but holds off as the first bag is pulled off the girl before her in Erudite blue and who it reveals has her hissing. "Celine. You sick bitch your own daughter. Again you would sacrifice a child for this."

"Ava. Don't let her kill me sister. Please." Celine's own silver/blue eyes begged that of her twin sister, filling with tears.

Ava's own eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head. "I will fucking die before she touches anyone here Celine. But for you I will slit her throat myself."

"Tsk, Tsk. Such a temper my love. Let's see who is behind door number ...Four...on no wait….." she pulls the bag off of Four's head and cackles. "That's just who is under the bag."

Four snarls at Jeanine and looks over to Celine, love and sadness shining in his eyes. "Whatever you do Ava; I don't care about me, just save Celine and yourself." He begs when he locks eyes with Ava.

"Shut it Four you ain't fucking dying today or any other day." She orders him then she looks to Jeanine and pulls the last bag from the head she knows it will be on before the bitch can. "You either. So don't even fucking start Coulter."

"You are just spoiling the fun Ava. That was going to be my big reveal." Jeanine pouted.

"Yeah well we both know I live to spoil your fucking plans. Speaking of, what is your plan? I join you, you spare them. And what about my faction or my city?" Ava's mind is whirling, trying to think of ways out of this for everyone.

"You join me and these three will survive to be by your side. And we can make our city safe again. Once that is done you can help to guide your faction back to the way it should be." Jeanine tried to reassure the young girl.

"Guide them to how they should be, how YOU think we should be you mean. You hate the Dauntless, Jeanine. You think we are a subspecies and are only good as the guns you point." Ava shakes her head in denial of that plan.

"But with you at their head you could make them more. Don't you want that Ava, to make them stronger. It was what you were always saying. That you would be willing to die for that. I am just giving you a way to not have to die to do so."

That was it. That was her way. Taking a deep breath she looked her sister in the eye, then Four, then Eric who was shaking his head at her. Knowing what she was going to do. She had five seconds to draw and point. The guards around her would lift their guns from the prisoners and point to her. She could get her shot off before they pulled the trigger but she wouldn't make it.

She could live with that. Or rather she was willing to die for that.

Her grin was feral and her eyes were wide as she whipped the gun up and pointed at the head of Jeanine Matthews. "Together then, just like you want." Then she was firing and so were her guards. She was struck just as she saw the bullet pierce into the startled blonde that would destroy them all.

The view from the roof of the compound at dusk was always a sight that could relax her after hard days of training and stress. She could look out at the horizon of her city, the Space Needle in the distance, the forests and mountains and it soothed her. She had found comfort in the location and the company.

She was looking down the hole from the ledge in their normal spot when she heard his steps coming from behind her. Her heart picked up and her palms became sweaty.

"Ava." Eric called as he came beside her. His smirk on his face as always. It wasn't the normal smirk though, it was his smirk for her.

"Eric." She nodded and gave her own little private smirk.

"What brings you out here tonight?" Eric purred but he didn't move to sit beside her like he normally would.

He stood close behind her, his chest almost against her back. Her heart picked up again and she swallowed and hoped her voice could remain normal.

"The view, as always. I don't mind the company either." Her voice was still a bit breathy though she tried to make it not so much.

Eric's smirk turned into a bit of a wicked grin. "Oh I think we both know you more than don't mind Ava."

Ava blushes and and looks away, or tries to but Eric grabs her and spins her around to face him. "Look at me Ava." He commands and makes her look at him with a hand on her face.

She is still sitting on the ledge and he has moved her so that her legs are on either side of his waist. She gasps at the contact of his other hand at her waist and on her back. She moves her eyes to look at him.

"Tell me I am wrong. But we both know the truth here. You don't just mind it you crave it don't you?" Eric growls and moves his hand to the back of her head and pulls her to just above his mouth.

She had no fear of admitting that so she readily did. "You know we both do Eric. But we both know we can't do anything about it either."

His growl confirmed that he did as well but his actions disagreed with her assessment. He kissed her, a crushing and bruising kiss. Then he pulled back and looked at her wickedly. "There is where you are wrong. I can do whatever the hell I please. Because unlike you Ava, I didn't catch feelings here. But you did. My question is, did you really think you would ever be anything other than a quick lay? That anyone could love you?"

Ava felt daggers pierce her heart and her eyes filled with tears. His grin became a bit more wicked and then it wasn't just him that was whispering those words. It was Dean, who had said those exact same words to her a week after he had promised she wasn't that to him. He walked up beside Eric, and like she was some kind of doll Eric passed her to Dean who wore the same grin.

"Sweet Ava. You were so gullible. Did you really think you would ever be anything other than a quick lay? That anyone could love you?" Dean moved to kiss her and she lashed out and punched him.

"Don't fucking touch me. I told you to never touch me again." Ava screamed in a voice of rage.

"As if he would want to Ava." Another voice called out and this one almost had her curling into herself.

"Momma?" Came the strangled cry as her beloved mother. The one that had raised her and loved her unconditionally came into view.

"Child I am not your mother. You know better than that now. You are not my blood and never were. Did you really think I could love you, that anyone could love you with that woman's blood coursing through your veins?" The normally beautiful smile of Eveline Woodard was turned into a sneer as she looked at her adopted daughter.

"Momma you always said that didn't matter." Ava whispered full of pain.

Eveline shrugged and a wicked grin spread across her face. "Well that was before I was killed for your worthless ass, wasn't it Avaline."

Ava shook her head and looked to Eric who was looking at her as if she was scum on his boot. A look she had gotten used to over these last few months. Her gaze moved over to Dean and she shot him a feral look before she kicked her boot out and up into his nose. Then her eyes snapped over to her mother and she huffed.

"You killed yourself by confronting her when you knew you couldn't win. You decided on your own to make that move when you knew we needed to get more Intel. I love you and will always love you. But you were stupid and reckless. I know you did it to try and protect me. And that her threats were getting to you but you should have waited. You died because you thought it was the right thing to do, because you did and do love me. No matter your words now I know what passed and the love you had."

The look on Eve's changed to almost beatific as she smiled, nodded and faded away.

Ava's gaze went back to Dean and she shook her head and laughed at the blood coursing down his face onto his pristine blue suit. "It was my fault for equating that I needed to think I loved you because you were my first, with what love should be. I let myself be conned by your words and smooth smiles. No, I don't think you ever loved me Dean. But then again I never fucking loved you. I don't want or need or your love either."

Dean disappeared without another word as if he was never there.

Ava looked to the ground and then moved so that she was standing on the ledge looking at the sneering Eric.

"It doesn't matter if you ever did or ever will love me Eric. I know how I feel, how I have felt from pretty much the first day I met you. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt, the thought that it would never be returned. Love is pain, so is life. Love and life are an unknown abyss and I would rather be plunging into it head first than standing up on the ledge and staring down into it but never living it." Ava said with sad smile at Eric.

Eric shrugged and his look was just like the one he had given the initiates on that day on the roof. It went back to that smirk, the one she loved so much and hated at the same time. "So jump…..or don't"

Ava smirked at him and thought of the words she had said when she volunteered to be the first jumper that day. "She took the leap and built her wings on the way down."

With a sigh and a smile she launched herself backwards off of the roof and down the hole.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **Chapter 3**

There was darkness, that darkness that usually means she is coming out of the simulation. It was different though because she could hear voices and was seeing images. Distorted and fuzzy. It hurt and she tried to clutch at her head. She could only whimper though and cry out at the pain. It was like pieces of her mind were being torn from her but then placed in front of her. No burned into her.

She was being carried then laid down on something soft. Her eyes opened and she looked around blearily. She was here but she wasn't. It was like she was just a shadow of the 'her' that was really looking out of her own eyes.

Eric was standing beside her in what looked like a room. It looked like a room in Dauntless. Was this his room? Why would he bring her there? They had been talking at a party and decided to get some air. That was the last thing she remembered. Had something happened?

"Eric?" A voice not her own, yet her own croaked out.

His head turned towards her but his look was blank. "Eric are…"

"Ah good. You are awake." The familiar voice of Jeanine Matthews spoke to her as she walked in the door of the bedroom she was in.

"Jeanine, what the fuck are you…" She tried to move but her limbs were locked, not restrained, she just couldn't move them. "What the fuck did you do to me?"

"Yes unfortunate but I needed to be able to keep you immobile until the enhancer and hormone stimulants took effect. We also had to remove the birth control implant and purge your system of any remnants of that silly thing. You won't be needing that anymore." Jeanine had a scroll pad and a scanner and was running it over herself.

"What are you talking about? What have you done Jeanine? What is wrong with Eric?" Ava's voice was still hoarse and she couldn't imagine how long she had been out to have that be the case.

"Eric will be fine. More than fine here shortly. You both will be." She smirked at Ava and winked a bit laviously. "What I have done, dear daughter. is I am giving you what you want. I know what will make you happy and he most certainly will and does. I have been watching you and you have become quite smitten with the young leader. You even fought those two members that were going to attack him the other night at the bar. Of course he doesn't know that, it will be our little secret."

Ava shakes her head. "You are crazy you know that. You can't force someone to be with someone else. And what the fuck does it matter to you Jeanine?"

Jeanine scoffs at her and it makes Ava want to launch herself at her. "A mother will always want what makes her daughter happy. I approve by the way, of your choice. He is strong and your children will be strong. It is too bad his divergence isn't higher because it would make your children even stronger, but what can you do. You love who you love. Now you will experience some very strong feelings pretty soon, urges rather. So will he for that matter. It makes it worse if you try to fight it."

She presses a few buttons and as if Eric is a robot he moves over to the other side of the bed. "I do apologize but there was no way he was going to bring you here without a little help. I try to control him as little as possible as I do all the other leaders. It is necessary though from time to time. Especially when they start wavering in regards to my plans."

Ava felt like screaming and tried to do so, but when she opened her mouth her own screams weren't being echoed like the should be. The other Ava just continued speaking.

"You fucking leave him out of this Jeanine. Do what you want to me, you always did. But don't do this." Ava knew now what she was planning. She wasn't stupid enough to not pick up on it especially when Eric started stripping.

"Now, now Ava. Believe me you will thank me. It is too late anyways, once the serums hit your system you will need this." Jeanine waved her hand and prepped a few injection guns. When Eric was laid down she injected him in the neck and then started scanning him.

Ava's mind was whirling. "This doesn't make any sense Jeanine. Serums don't work on me like that because of my…."

Jeanine laughed. "Because of your divergence? And who told you that dear? Me...right? And what good would it do me if it was known that I had long ago discovered serums that work perfectly fine on any divergent? Wouldn't exactly further my plans now would it? So I put that little bit of propaganda out there to make sure it kept people scared. Don't worry though, I will make sure you are protected. I have special serums made up for you that will make your divergence negated during your fear sims. Your mind works different anyways and you are almost always able to hide it on your own. You really do think like a Dauntless you know. I was highly impressed during your prior testing."

She moves the scanner over to the young woman and smiles widely. "Yes it is just about time. The fertility serum has done its job. There are no more remnants of the fertilization suppressant from your implant. If I am not mistaken you are starting to feel the effects of all those lovely pheromones and hormones you have been induced with. The conditions are perfect."

"You're trying to breed me? Because that will make me happy. Forcing a man to have sex with your daughter and knock her up? You are one twisted fucking bitch you know that." Ava growled out.

Jeanine snapped her head over to Ava and walked up, slapped her and scowled at her. "That is no way to talk to a mother that is just giving you what you want. You could be more grateful. Yes you will have children that will make us stronger. They will be smarter, stronger and better suited for the city we will create. You are also being given the family you always wanted with the man you love Ava. And before you get high and mighty with me, I won't be forcing him to do anything. I will be removing the control and it will be just you and him. He can fight it, just the same as you. It will be painful but it can be done. I also know he won't fight it and neither will you. Because as much as you feel for him, our Eric here feels the same for you. It's why I assigned him to make sure you were happy in any way possible and that you were protected in the dungeon of a place you call home. While he has done the protecting part, he hasn't exactly moved quickly for the other part. I am just giving you two a boost."

Ava laughed mirthlessly. "And the next morning when all this shit is out of our system and we realize what was done to us. You think he is going to want anything to do with me or kids he never wanted?'

Ava's voice cracks at that because it would kill her to hurt him like that and kill her to have that happen. She could admit to herself she wanted that shit with him and she thinks he might want it with her too. But they had been waiting to see if that was possible until she was a member. She was waiting until she knew she could stop Jeanine.

"Yes, that is a problem. One that I have already thought of and countered. Unfortunately, while he will remember events as a drunken night of passion, you won't remember anything. He might be a little upset with you for a little while but Eric is a very territorial man. There will be no way he will let you go for long and when he finds out you are pregnant with his children, well then everything will be perfect. That will make sure he follows my plans because he will be even more driven to protect than he already is."

The ghost Ava was screaming in horror and rage. She couldn't do this to her, to him. What kind of monster was she.

"Don't do this please." Ava growled out the closet to begging she could to Jeanine.

"It is done dear." Jeanine sighed and put away her scanner and scroll pad. "Now you two won't be watched, I am not that crude, but you will be monitored. I wouldn't suggest you try to leave this room. It would not be pleasant for Eric. In the morning you will be retrieved and you will be none the wiser. When it is time I will schedule another visit for a checkup. I am excited for us Ava. Our family is on the verge of something great here. Between you and Celine…."

Ava went pale and her stomach roiled. "Celine...you can't touch her. Don't touch her!"

Jeanine laughed. "Too late. I believe her and her love Tobias are even now finally joined in the way they longed to be together as well."

"I will kill you bitch. I will kill you with my bare fucking hands." Ava growled and hissed.

"You won't remember this Ava. And when it is time, you will need me to protect you and those you love. You both will be by my side again, exactly where you should have been before you were taken from me." Her face turned a bit feral and menacing. "I must go, I do hope you enjoy yourself. I have heard that he is quite skilled, of course he might be a little out of practice. Poor boy has been waiting for you for a quite a while you know. Until next time dear."

Pain again, pain like she has never experienced before in her life as images of that night burned into her head again. Images of her and Eric, of their almost frantic need and coming together after trying to fight it. She hadn't been able to see him in such pain and when he had tried to leave he had writhed and screamed so terribly it had broken her.

She gave in then and pulled him to her. His eyes had been full of apology but she also saw the true desire and longing in them. Not the false and induced lust that was coursing through them both.

"It's ok Eric. I want you. I always wanted you." She whispered against his mouth before she felt his resistance and fighting crumble.

"Ava...I didn't want it to be like this. Not like this baby." He was already carrying her back over to the bed to lay her on it.

She couldn't answer because with her stopping fighting the urges coursing through her took over. For him too and they came together in a clash of mouth and hands as they clawed at the last bits of clothing.

Yes they had both enjoyed it but they had also cursed it as well. They couldn't take their time and savor or express the depth of the feeling they had for each other. It was animalistic and pure rutting. It went on for hours because of all the stimulants they had both been given. Until finally both of their bodies had given out and they had collapsed.

"I'm sorry Ava. Gods I am so fucking sorry baby." Eric had croaked out as he gathered her to him. He had been just as weak as she had been. They were both bruised and marked from the uncontrolled passion they had imparted on each other.

"Don't Eric. I love you...not your fault." It was all she could rasp out. Her voice broken from her screams of rage and pain before they had turned to ones of release in her pleasure when they stopped fighting.

"Love you Ava…." Eric barely got out before he went under.

Ava's last thought had been that she wished she could at least hold onto that part. That he loved her too. She knew she wouldn't and she had mentally vowed to kill the bitch one more time.

The darkness descended again and she begged for the pain to be over and for the darkness to go away. It didn't happen though. She was thrown into another flurry of images and floating voices as images were once again torn from her mind and then burned into her. As she once again was a ghost in her own mind.

"Ava. You need to go to the clinic. They need to update some innoculations on you and a few others." Lauren had approached her in the training room just as everyone was being dismissed for the day.

Ava and her friend Lara exchanged looks but Ava shrugged. "I'll meet you in the dining hall and we can go get ready after that."

Lara frowns. "Maybe it isn't a bad thing to go get checked out. You have been feeling sick lately."

She nods and frowns. "I told you it is probably just stress. Dealing with Eric right now has been…."

Lara snorts and shakes her head. "You don't need to elaborate. I can't believe you still defend him even with how he is being to you. Zeke and Four are ready to tear his head off."

Ava sighs and shrugs. "Look he is a leader and our instructor. I have said before and I will say again. He isn't here to be nice or be our friend. He has a job to do and he is doing it the best way he knows how."

She had walked out after that, not wanting to get into the debate again. Not wanting to admit she was hurt and confused by his behavior to her. Not wanting to admit that she was confused as to how her dreams had been telling her that they were or had been something more. She dreamed of her and him together at times and it left her feeling empty without him. As if she knew how his touches and kisses were and she burned for them even more than she already had. The dreams had started about the time he had become a stranger to her.

Now they were all she had left of whatever was good between them. She had wished they would go away at first, now she was scared that one day they would, then she would have nothing left.

She walked into the clinic and was greeted by a short and round nurse named Jem. "Ava, right?"

"Yes ma'am." Ava said respectfully with a nod.

"Alright, follow me." Jem's voice was flat and she walked quickly to a room at the back of the clinic. She opened the door and stood to the side to let Ava in.

Ava walked in but before she could get in further than a few steps she felt herself grabbed and a piercing in her neck. She was out before she could make a sound.

"There she is." Floated to her when her eyes next flickered open. She was still in the same room but she was strapped to the bed and was in a gown. The front was open and her stomach as well as her lower half were exposed.

She struggled for a moment against the restraints and then took in the voice that spoke beside her. Jem was there but she was dressed in regular Erudite Medical scrubs not the black she had just been wearing.

It was who was beside her and what was being done that held her attention. Jeanine Matthews was sitting beside her and was holding what looked to be a fetal imaging scanner and loading something into the vid screen on the wall it was apparently connected to.

"Jeanine...what...what are you doing?" Ava swallowed nervously and looked around for anything that would help her or tell her what was going on.

Jeanine smirked over at her. "Come now Ava. I know you are smart enough to know what I hold and what I am obviously about to do."

"It looks like you are about to check on a baby, but there is no baby for you to check on bitch." Ava growled out, her temper taking over.

Jeanine sighed. "Don't ruin an important and perfect moment by your crudeness Ava. Use your common sense and evaluate yourself. You have been ill lately. Not wanting to eat or eating very differently than before. I hear you have given up coffee altogether and thankfully any liquor. You are wanting more greens and fish rather than the steaks you had been eating. I am very glad to hear that by the way."

Ava shook her head. All of that was right but it shouldn't and couldn't be possible. She had only been with Dean once and that was over a year ago. Unless fantasies and pleasuring yourself could get you pregnant then this wasn't possible.

"Ah here we go." Jeanine said proudly as she fired up the fetal imaging scanner. She had it pressed against Ava's abdomen, that had become decidedly rounder, along with her breasts and hips. She had just put that to her training and because they were done with fights her body was reshaping itself.

She couldn't deny the image on the vid screen though. "No….I can't be. How is this even fucking possible Jeanine. I haven't had sex with anyone. What did you do to me?" She screamed at the woman.

"Calm down Ava." Jeanine scowled at her, the image of the fetus' blurring at the movements and thrashing of the young girl. With a sigh she motioned to Jem. "I didn't want to have to do this Ava but you leave me no choice. You are only upsetting you and the babies."

Jem moved forward and shoved the injection gun against her neck. The click sounded and Ava felt the sickening happiness and sense of calm descend upon her. She couldn't fight it but she knew it was happening.

"How did this happen?" She wanted to cringe at her own voice as she sat in her ghost state listening to it.

"I did nothing to you. You became pregnant the good old fashioned way. We only helped it along by giving you and the father a push. And of course a few pleasure enhancers, fertility stimulants and other little things. I am told it sounded like you two quite enjoyed each other. I am sorry you can't and won't remember it. He does though and I have to say I am disappointed in his continued anger and behavior towards you."

She said all this while going back to scanning Ava and Ava's eyes became wide and glued to the screen. "Is that?"

"Your children, yes. I have to say I am bit shocked. We had hoped for one, maybe two. We never counted on three though. You will have to be watched closely, even more so now."

Jeanine's voice was cold and almost clinical. Ava could already see that she was in her processing mode where she was coming up with plans and counterplans.

Ava was in shock and wanted to rage but couldn't be anything more than happy and calm at the moment. She listened in wonder to the heartbeats of her children.

"How far along am I?" Ava asked, her eyes never leaving the screen as Jeanine and Jem took measurements and checked development.

"You will be about three and a half months along when it is time for your final testing. Just a week short of it actually." Jem answered for Jeanine.

"You expect me to what….what do you want from all of this?" Ava couldn't even form the proper words because she couldn't muster up the rage needed.

"We already went over this but of course you can't remember. When it comes time again it will all be revealed. I am afraid you won't remember this either. We will be administering the serum to help with the development your health as well as the fetus' daily in the fear sim serum. You have already been getting that already since you started. I am told you only have two of them. I am very pleased with that. You will for sure be in the top spot with those times. Your diet will continue to be monitored and we will schedule another check up after your final test. You will be showing by most likely, or at least slightly more round. That was how I was, you hardly knew your girls were there until I got to my six month unless I told the person. You will also be given symptom suppressors. Can't have you figuring it out too soon and it will continue to help with the heavier sicknesses you will experience as you go on.." Jeanine rattled all of this off like it was just a common day occurrence.

"Who is….who is the father Jeanine?" Ava closed her eyes tight as she asked this but she knew the answer.

Jeanine gave a chuckle that would have usually set Ava off. "You know already but if you need me to say it outloud. Who else would I allow other than the man you love and who would be the strongest protector for our babies here. Eric of course."

Ava felt tears start to stream down her face and she hated herself for the joy she was feeling at the moment. She felt it was a betrayal of him because he couldn't have wanted this or known about it.

"Does he….does he know Jeanine?"

Jeanine scoffs and scowls. "He remembers things as a drunken night. I knew he would be angry that you wouldn't remember things the next day but I didn't think he would hold onto everything for so long. Oh well, that will soon be corrected. Once you have had your test, we will make sure you are safe. Then when the plans for the city are in place, we will clean up the not worthy in Dauntless and you two can take your rightful place. Guided by me of course but it will just make your beloved Dauntless stronger."

A scoff broke through her calm and happiness. "You think that he or the rest of leadership are just going to let you go back on the promises you have made them? I know what you have told them this is all about, that it is about saving the city from divergents. That it is saving them from the ruin abnegation is trying to leave them in. We both know that is crap Jeanine. You will take all that power for yourself, or try to, but they aren't going to allow that.

Jeanine turned a cold gaze on her. "Those that aren't found worthy are nothing more than and will be nothing more than my drones. Most of leadership will be joining that of course, but you and Eric will head up the new generation of Dauntless. If you don't Ava, then I will destroy all you love. Starting with Eric. All I need is you stowed away until my grandchildren are born and then I won't need you either."

There was the woman that was claiming she was just trying to give her beloved daughter what she wanted to make her happy.

Then her demeanor changed and she smiled. "But we won't think about that Ava. I want you by my side and I think for your children at least you will be. They are beautiful already. Perfectly healthy and soon we can find out their sex. For now…" She looked to Jem who moved forward with the gun again. "For now you will sleep and when you wake you won't remember this. I will see you again soon dear."

The darkness descended again but this time the pain started to lessen. Her grief, rage and hurt didn't though. It was starting to magnify and the internal screams from her head were now vocal and loud as they ripped from her throat.

She felt arms surrounding her and she was being held against a chest. She could hear shouting and a scuffle around her. Someone was stroking her head and talking to her.

Sobs racked her body and she clung to the person in front of her. She knew it was him just from his warmth. She could hear the strain, rage, pain and love in his voice. "I've got you Ava. She won't fucking touch you or our babies again. I am going to kill the bitch Ava. We are going to kill the bitch."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Courtesy of the blizzard out of my door, a passed out toddler and quite a few cups of coffee...I give you another chapter for the random dream induced story. I am rather liking how it is shaping up and hope you do too. It is a bit more angst than I am used to dealing with but we need to expand and grow to evolve in thought and spirit! Why not attempt that with FanFic. That is the ticket...the path to enlightenment is through Fanfic! :P Enjoy ya'll!**

 **Chapter 4**

Ava was able to lift her head and look in his eyes. "I didn't know Eric. I am so sorry…."

He didn't let her finish as his mouth came to hers, it wasn't brutal but it wasn't gentle either. It was full of everything they were both feeling and had been feeling. He pulled away only because someone moved close to beside him.

Max approached full of thunder and rage. He and Eric had just had to execute two leaders who were set on still following the plans of the Erudite bitch. He was thankful he had denied her being present for the fear simulations today. He had been worried it would draw too much attention. She wasn't even allowed to watch real time but they had planned to review them all together later that night.

He was concerned for his second in command and for the young girl in his arms. "Eric we need to get her checked out. I am not sure why or how the memories were recovered or the status of…"

"They better be fucking fine Max. It will be just another thing for me to take from her hide if Ava or those babies are hurt anymore than they already are." Eric growled out but still hadn't let go of Ava, nor she him.

Max sighed and nodded. "I don't know how true it was about your sister Ava. But we will try and locate her and find out if she is ok. Four is already ready to tear his hair out as well. He had to be removed from the room though."

Max looked at Eric pointedly and Ava knew it was because Eric wanted to be with her but so did Four. Four probably wanted Eric no where near her even though he would have seen Eric had been a victim in all of this too.

"Is someone watching him so he doesn't go off Sir? Because if he can't be with me…" Ava has to croak this out. Apparently her screams had been vocal during all of that.

Eric growls his impatience and picks her up in his arms in a bridal manner. "He is being watched Ava. Fuck what Four is doing right now. I need to make sure you guys are ok."

She nods and buries her head in his chest then a thought strikes her. "Eric! The nurse...what if .."

Max had been walking beside them. The area had apparently been cleared and there wasn't a soul in sight as Eric took her to an elevator that is rarely used outside of the leaders. He interrupted her train of thought.

"We already called it in and I have her in a holding cell. We are also questioning all staff there and will be doing full sweeps of senior staff. We already know about the leaders that were still willing to go along with her. For right now Shauna and Mar are in the clinic and will be taking care of you." Max finished firmly as he working on his tablet and was barking orders in his communicator.

"What guards are you posting Max?" Eric rumbled, he was still trying to process everything but all that was in the forefront of his mind was finding out if Ava was safe and then his children.

His children. Fuck….he was so torn. He wanted to be happy but this was such a fucked up situation. In the deepest recesses of his mind he had hoped for kids one day. When he found Ava that came a little more to the light but it was still buried. He hadn't truly hoped or dared to hope for a chance with her much less to have a fucking family.

Max sighs and looks over his tablet. "The Pedrad brother's are safe enough given their relationship to Ava. It will also appease Four which is needed for now until he gets himself under control again. That may not be until we locate her sister. She used the same kind of memory on Four that she used on you Eric. Although it seemed more like a dream to him from what he is saying."

Eric was scowling but didn't say anything more. Right now his focus was on Ava and what else was done to her. "I will want to question that nurse." It wasn't a question or even a request. It was a statement that he knew wouldn't see any resistance. It was also said in a devoid of emotion voice.

Max nodded, knowing what that voice meant. He was so beyond angry that he was almost calm and even more deadly. It would not be a pleasant questioning for the nurse. Not that she fucking deserved it.

Ava sighed and knew it was a long shot to ask but she needed to. "Can I…"

Eric growled and pulled her closer so he could look in her eyes "Fuck no Ava. You aren't getting within feet of her. Tell me what you want to know and I will find out for you."

Ava's face turned hard. "What she knows about my sister. Jeanine will be using the same person for both of us. Less chances of exposure or leaking of information. Also how many other times I had that damn memory serum used on me. Those weren't all of the memories….just most likely the most recent ones."

They were getting closer to the clinic. Max and Eric exchanged looks. They would all need to be tested for the memory serum and the fucking control chip that was in them.

"Ava, what do you know about her plans." Max asked quietly and more than a little self recriminatory for allowing himself and his faction to be pulled into all of it. She had just been so logical and he had felt so desperate to protect his family and faction.

Ava can sense this in the men. They have the same look she has seen on others faces when the realize just how much Jeanine had pulled the wool over their eyes. She had been that person before her mother had helped to bring her back around.

"It isn't either of your faults you know. You were doing exactly what she knew was the only option for either of you and this faction. She used that, used you and more people than you can know. She turned your biggest strength into her weapon. You only had the best intentions both of you. The others most likely were never in it for the safety of the faction or city. She most likely played into them wanting power. They would have been the first she would have either had killed or controlled so that they never had an original thought again in their lives." Ava couldn't believe how calm she was being even if her voice was cracked and hoarse while she spoke.

It helped to have someone else to focus on though. To help these two that her faction would need so desperately to try and weather the storm that was about to hit.

Eric pushed through the doors with a scowl still on his face. He didn't even have to say anything before Shauna was ushering them into a room. When Eric realize what room they were being led to his face turned dark and he stopped dead in his tracks. "Get another fucking room ready right now. She isn't going in there."

Ava hadn't seen what room they were being led to but blanched slightly when she saw it. Then she shook her head and scowled at herself. "It's just a room Eric. Just a room and I will not let her make me afraid of it or anywhere else." She made her voice firm and made him look to her.

Their eyes locked and he held her gaze for a while before he let his love and pride in her show. "You are more Dauntless than the best of us Ava."

"Damn right she is."Max growls with pride as well at the girl. He had to admit he hadn't understood the fascination with Ava from Jeanine other than she was a damn fine young woman much less a future soldier. He had been hoping too that she wasn't divergent but he knew his duty and more than just one life, he had thought, was at stake.

He couldn't imagine what this young girl had gone through to date and was still going through. What mattered now was they took care of her and the situation quickly. Time was of the essence if they wanted to stop Jeanine.

Max motioned for Shauna to keep leading the way and Eric nodded to him then they followed.

Eric got Ava laid on the bed but didn't move more than an inch from her side.

Shauna and Mar exchanged looks as Mar held up the dressing gown. "Eric we need you to…"

"You can forget asking me to leave this room. Ava do you mind if I remain while you change?" He looked to Ava with the question but he already knew her answer. It was for their benefit he asked at all.

"Please don't leave Eric." Ava knew why he had even bothered to ask but the thought really did distress her and give her a bit of panic.

Max picked up on this and nodded to the two girls. "It will cause her more upset to seperate them. I will step out so you can do the exam. Call me if you…."

"You can come back for the heartbeats and to see them if you want, Sir." Ava called over to him and held his eyes.

Not many knew of how close Eric and Max were. Not many knew that he was almost like a father to him and had been from before Eric had ever transferred. Ava did though, not only because Eric had told her but because she had known about Eric before she had transferred. He would see these children as his grandchildren and deserved to know them.

Max got a slow smile on his face as he and Eric looked at each other. Eric was still struggling with the thought that he was going to be a father but he knew he wanted Max there too. That she knew and insisted, it only made her all the more important to him.

"I would like that Ava. Please, call me Max. Just let me know when it is time." His voice was soft as he held in the emotion from the entire day. He wished Layla could be here, but it was too risky. He would tell her and the kids when they knew this was over. Right now they were safe at home. At least he hoped they were, he had sent a few guards he trusted to watch over them as soon as Ava's sims started.

Those alone had been enough to start his doubt, not even the memories and now he was glad he had listened to his instinct.

He walked out with a nod and sat in the chair near the room. He started to make calls. Calls that he dreaded making but the other factions and leaders needed to be brought into this. He also called to check on Four. If he was calm enough he would allow him to come here. He deserved to be here too.

Eric helped Ava dress, even though she didn't really need the help. He just needed to touch her to make sure she was real and this was happening. He also just needed to be in contact with her. It was an instinct that his body was pushing him to do regardless of what his mind said it needed to do.

When the gown was on and Ava was laid back on the bed in the proper place, they had to do the internal exam. It was a bit embarrassing and more than a little uncomfortable but she didn't let it show. She did hold Eric's hand, or rather he was holding hers as he held her eyes.

He gave her as much privacy he could in this moment. Not letting his gaze stray from her face as he stroked her hair and held her eyes. As Shauna was doing the internal exam, Mar was drawing blood and preparing to do the scans needed to check for any other signs of injuries or distress. Then they would move on to the fetal imaging scans.

To distract herself Ava began thinking aloud, running through everything she knew about pregnancy and multiple pregnancy. Shauna was pregnant herself so Ava had been doing some research on twins. "If I am three months along it will still be too early to find out their gender. Thirteen weeks is the earliest that it has been done and only then rarely because their organs are still internal until then. Being multiples it will be even harder."

Eric knew what she was doing and gave a small smile, both at her intelligence and then at her thoughts. "As long as you are all healthy Ava. That's all I…" He stopped talking and frowned shaking his head. "I shouldn't have held onto the anger so long Ava. I might have realized sooner and we could have…"

Ava reaches up to put a hand behind his neck and pulls him to her for a kiss. It wasn't deep, just a reassuring one. When they pulled away she smiled a little at him. "I would have done the same thing if it had been me that remembered and you had forgotten Eric. It would have killed me and I would have hated you and myself. You for hurting me and myself for allowing it to happen."

She understood. Gods it was more then he could have hoped for and that had been killing him the entire time he had to watch her in those memories. Knowing what he had been doing her the entire time. Thinking she was either faking not remembering or not even having a clue. His rage at himself and Jeanine watching that was almost visible he had vibrated with it so much.

Only Max restraining him, making him watch even though he knew that his older friend and almost father was feeling the same rage, had held him in place.

"I don't know that I deserve this, your forgiveness or our children, Ava. But I swear to fucking Gods I will try to with every breath I have."

Ava smiled and nodded. "You don't need my forgiveness, Eric, because there isn't anything to forgive. What you can give me is her fucking head on a platter, or get me to her and let me take the bitch out myself."

Eric leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You know you aren't getting near her but I can promise you I will make her pay for this alone. Never mind any other of the shit."

Shauna stayed silent but watched and listened closely as she did the examination. She had to admit she was a bit shocked at how Eric was being with Ava. She had never thought he was as bad a monster as the others had said. She had seen how he stayed near when patrols were brought in and he had injured soldiers.

He didn't let his worry show but he didn't leave until all had been seen to and he had a report. When there was a death he turned thunderous. He might not let the softer emotions show but he had always shown how much those deaths affected him. Even if it was only to become angry. Shauna had always believed that it was directed at the perpetrators of the deaths and himself. Because he was just the sort to take that and internalize it as directly his fault.

When Ava had started defending him to the other Initiates and even Four, she had understood and even privately agreed. When you worked in the clinic and you saw first hand the injuries and deaths you got a different perspective on leadership and what it took to make soldiers. When Ava had then went beyond defending him and moved to befriending him, almost from the beginning, she had been concerned but thoughtful. She had been concerned about how people would treat Ava but also because it was clear to her it was more for Ava. Maybe had been from the start as well.

It was only when some switch had been flipped in Eric and he became more cruel than she had ever seen him that she had pushed all support she might have had for him and them, away entirely. Yes he became even more cruel to everyone but it all seemed to be focused on Ava or sometimes those she was close to.

She didn't know everything that was going on in Dauntless right now. She wasn't privy to it but she was told that anything discussed or revealed was classified. Apparently there were people in Dauntless being controlled and wiped of memories. Leadership among them. It would explain a few things. Changes in behavior or rules that she knew would never have happened before.

They would have a lot of work to do. Mar and Shauna had already scanned themselves to make sure they were clear of any control chips or nano tech that would cause it. Max had demanded it before Ava was even brought close to them. That reassured her as much as anything could at the moment and Eric's care for her did as well.

"Everything looks good internally Ava. You aren't dilated and positioning seems good." Shauna stops and Ava looks to her. She takes a breath as she cleans everything up. "Ava…"

Ava nods and closes her eyes. Eric tenses and growls. "What!"

"Eric, it is to be expected…" Ava tries to to calm him but he shakes his head.

"Tell me now and no sugar coating shit Shauna." He growls out.

Shauna does smile at him. "It is the same thing with me Eric. I am carrying twins but I have a smaller frame. Ava does as well but she is carrying three babies. A normal delivery isn't going to happen for either of us. When it comes time they will have to be removed by c-section. It also means that she will be even more uncomfortable as time goes on. We will know how large we can expect them to be with each scan and check up."

Eric's nostril flare and his eyes close. "Let's do the scan then."

She did this to her. Giving her fucking fertility enhancers to make as many fetus' as possible. If anything happens to her because of this, if she or they are hurt or don't make it….she will regret every second of her life for as long as he can drag it out for. And he will fucking enjoy every damn moment of it too.

Shauna nods and Mar starts to finish up her own scans. "Let me go submit the blood into our analyzer. I will also start uploading the scans I just took and when we are done with the scan to check on status of the babies we can all go over hers. We will need to then work on you, Max and Four." Mar informs Eric and Ava as she chews her lip in thought.

Eric nods and takes a seat beside Ava on a stool while Shaula covers Ava up so that Max can come in for the next part. Mar moves to the door and opens it up.

Max stands immediately but Four also pushes off from the wall he was leaning against. Mar sighs when she sees Four. "You can't upset her and upsetting Eric will do that Four. It will be up to them if you can come in but she has already said she wants Max in the room."

Max looks to the materials in her hands and nods towards them. "Those will tell us the depth of the memory serum or damage?"

Mar sighs and nods. "We will have to do it on the three of you as well. But it will tell us if there is still serum of any kind in her system. It will also tell her if the nanites that would be the controllers are present and account for any damage that might have been done from prior experiments. It should all be done by the time we have taken a look at the babies."

Four groans and runs a hand over his face at the word babies. He is almost mad with worry for Ava but then also for Celine. He needs to find her and make sure she is ok. Gods what did he do to her? What did she make him do to her?

Mar shares a look with Max and he nods. "I will ask them if Four can come in."

She nods and then moves on before Max turns to Four. "Give me a moment Four to go in and talk to them. Can I trust you to keep your shit together for right now? Because you have to know it won't do either of those girls any good if you fly off the handle either in there or in trying to one man a mission to find her."

Four lets out a slow breath and nods. His fists clenched in helplessness. "We need to move soon though Max. Every minute is one more that Jeanine has the potential to get wise and make some kind of move. If we can get us cleared and a small team we can put together a plan."

Max nods in thought. "I know and we will. Believe me I know this needs to get done quickly."

Without another word he closes the door behind him and walks further into the room. The sight of Eric with Ava, their smiles and his hand on her head makes his resolve firm up. The boy might not be of his blood but he had promised his father that he would treat him as if he were. He would make sure the young woman that was willing to die for him and was carrying his children was safe. He would also make sure Eric didn't do something stupid to prevent him from seeing those babies born.


End file.
